The Tallinn Crap Beer Festival has traditionally appeared near the thirsty queue for the Tallinn Craft Beer Weekend on Saturday afternoon.
You might think that the whole idea of TCrBF is nonsense - and you may be right. It might be a refreshing oasis for the stomach or beer scene, or it might be just a mirage. Either way, you blink and then it's gone.
As with everything in life, there are two sides to every story, and that includes beer. TCrBF is that other side. TCrBF is those memories about beer that you've forgotten you even had. TCrBF is the wide-eyed view of the world that was accepting of all, without prejudice. TCrBF is you.
...A Crap photo gallerySome photos and media nonsense can be found thisaway ->
...The previous festivalThe archived updates on TCrBF2017 are thataway ->
TCrBF 2018 updates
8 May 2018, after rehab
Whether you were 'enjoying' blue swill with us, rounding up endangered species from bottom shelves all over the world, or just helping to drain the post-festival sCraps, you helped to make this year's TCrBF the worst ever!
As the long drought begins, please join me in singing the anthem of the 7th Annual Tallinn Crap Beer Festival:
All things shite and alcoful;
All we had to do was drink it.
4 May 2018
berry scary, barely beery
As the clock ticks down to TCrBF, a few
For example, the Grape Ape is about to stomp into our playground. Yes, heading here from up north is a crazy 400-pound gorilla from down south - muy loco!
There may be other grapes, limes, etc. too, aiding in your berry burial.
* Disclaimers apply. User may go blind. Use only as prescribed. Crapness may vary.
30 April 2018
Our bestiary of the worstiary is almost complete, but...
...It wouldn't be ready without a response to the swarm of
locusts that will soon descend on TCBW.
26 April 2018
The latest report from our boozekeepers:
When this drink shuffled in from the street, we quickly ushered it
into the cold of our refrigerated enclosure...
Brought to us by the letter
this is a sad drink, a very very very very sad drink,
16 April 2018
Extra, extra, read all about it!
If I can avoid drinking it before TCrBF, this extra-special treat will be available, which I lovingly/loathingly brought all the way from a petrol station in Oklahoma.
What you need to know about it:
24 March 2018'Good' news, Crap Beer fans:
We have an extra-strong addition
This display should be a perfect example of
When judged by quantities of excrement produced per day,
5 March 2018
Our menagerie has now been joined by fluffy little animals
inhumanely captured for us in China.
Either way, lack of quality is guaranteed.
Key words: WalMart China client breweryGreat Value Great Value Great Value
30 January 2018
BOOST ON THE LOOSE! ... THESE DRINKS MAY BITE
It's entirely possible that some of these wild animals will
escape from their cages before TCrBF.
20 November 2017, 10am
Keep your eyes peeled, and join us on the bottom shelves!
Can you bag a prize can/bottle for TCrBF 2018?
14 November 2017
We are pleased to report a rumoured date and time for the potentially g(l)orious Tallinn Crap Beer Festival 2018:
5.5.2018, the first Saturday of the beery, beery month of
The rumour also refers to Kultuurikatel, a venue we liked so much last year
that we're not surprised that we'll allegedly return there.
We've already had enquiries from at least one bottle-hoarding crap
fan overseas. You too can start catching the boost now, in
preparation for joining the fun at our PETting zoo!
And, just as eclipse-chasers have their eclipse glasses ready in advance, make sure your beer goggles are all set to go!
26 September 2017
We are now accepting ideas (themes, beers, etc.) and donations (of themes, beers, etc.) for the 2018 festival.
After what happened last time, we suggest not pouring crap beer directly into your browser window.
The best approach is to e-mail the organising team at the address tcrbf at the domain (the grex... bit) in your browser's URL bar.
Older updatesArchived updates from the 2017 festival can be found here...
Any opinions expressed on this page are opinions. And any resemblance to real facts or events is purely coincidental.